Embracing Change

One thing about life is that it's constantly changing—sometimes subtly, sometimes right in your face. You know those moments when you pause and realize that your life now feels completely different from just a year ago, or even a month ago?

There are changes beyond our control, and then there are changes we intentionally choose—like ending a relationship, leaving a job, or moving to a new place. When we take an active role, we assume responsibility, and that can be really scary. I've had my fair share of instances where I chose passivity simply to avoid the weight of decision-making, but this only slows our journey toward true alignment and authentic living.

Creating an aligned life often means letting go of what once was to make space for what is now and what will be.

The transition period is usually the hardest; we feel more resistance, more aware of the changes happening. We might be moving towards what we want, but those familiar feelings linger—a clinging to what we know.

It’s even harder when what we're letting go of isn't necessarily ‘bad,’ but just no longer fits. Sometimes in life, it's easier to move through decisions without acknowledging what’s happening beneath the surface. This is an invitation to stop and feel it all; there's wisdom and reconciliation in this space.

Grieve your old life, the old you.

Grieve the other paths you could have taken.

There's room for grief alongside excitement,

and room for doubt alongside certainty.

I’m currently in the midst of significant change and transition myself. I moved into a new apartment this week, living alone for the first time in seven years since moving to New York. It’s something I've wanted for a while, yet it marks the end of a beautiful chapter in my life.

I grieve my last apartment—the coziness, the warmth of it, the coffee walks and couch hangs with my roommate (S/O Kelsey, I miss you so much). I even miss the noisy passersby on Rivington and Orchard that kept me up all night and the obnoxious sound of our buzzer. Now, I'm in a new neighborhood, a new environment, entering a new phase in my relationship with myself as I settle in.

A couple of miles can feel like hundreds in the city.

I remember taking a few last moments in my old apartment, after clearing out endless cardboard boxes and patching up holes in the wall where our art (and many of my failed decor attempts) once hung, just to honor it and feel it all. Kelsey and I cried as we hugged, while the new tenants excitedly measured my bedroom their bedroom.

It’s right on that edge, as what is suddenly becomes what once was, where we experience our deepest contraction, where we cling a little harder for just a moment longer, fully savoring what we had before fully letting go and expanding into what awaits us. Sometimes we do it with grace, and sometimes we stumble through it, but eventually, we find our bearings in our new normal.

Alongside changing my living space, I resigned from my full-time role at an organization I’ve been with for five years today. (um..terrifying!!)

In the moments following my conversation with my manager, doubts flooded in.

What if I don’t succeed in what I’m pursuing?

Will I have enough?

Am I making the right decision?

This isn’t so bad; are you sure this is what you want?

Am I ready to be my own boss?

What does that even mean?

SELF-EMPLOYED TAX FILING!! 👹

My career was comfortable, even when it wasn’t. Deep down, I knew that the longer I held onto it, the less energy and time I’d have for the career path I’m passionate about. One foot in, one foot out worked for a while, but I finally reached my limit. There’s nothing particularly wrong with my work; I am grateful for what it provided me in so many ways, but I know it’s time to take a bigger step in the direction my gut has been guiding me.

Choose something different, or continue to stay the same.

It’s funny how my intuition has been signaling for months that this is what I want, yet when it happens, anxiety rears its head. My meditation practice has allowed me to notice everything that arises without reacting to it. Instead, I give space to the whirlwind of emotions and thoughts while staying rooted in the choice I know, at my core, is right for me. (Trust me, I checked in with my gut many, many times throughout this process.)

I don’t need to have all the answers right now, but I trust that I have the answer I need for this next step. One foot in front of the other, I’ll navigate part-time independent contracting in the tech space while pouring more of myself into my wellness and mindfulness work.

I asked the Universe for more time and energy to pursue what I love; it provided.

I asked the Universe for an income that would allow me to feel secure; it provided.

I asked the Universe for a quiet space of my own; it provided.

Ask and you shall receive.

You may never feel fully ready, but if it comes to you, trust that you are ready enough.

I’ll leave you with this quote by Terence McKenna, which my partner shared one evening when I was in the throes of doubt and fear:

"Nature loves courage. You make the commitment, and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles.

Dream the impossible dream, and the world will not grind you under; it will lift you up. This is how magic is done—by hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it's a feather bed."